#i gotta remove the defaults i think lmao

[genericpuff]

HEY SO I'M GONNA FINALLY ANSWER THE HANDS PART OF THIS QUESTION LMAO

don't get your hopes up tho, it's probably not gonna be that interesting because honestly?? I STILL SUCK AT DRAWING HANDS. ALL THE FUCKING TIME LOL I have little "quirks" with how I draw hands that make them evident that it was indeed I who drew them, and I still struggle with fingers specifically because I often have to redraw them during the process to make them look less like little freaking sausages. I owe that to my roots in cartoon/chibi-style art where sausage fingers were pretty much the norm, it drives me nuts when I end up with them on my normal-proportioned characters LMAO

That said, to me, "learning how to draw" whether it's hands, shoes, faces, etc. is literally just learning little tricks and secrets that help you understand the things you're studying better. And one little 'trick' I learned that helped me understand hand structure a lot more was from an Ethan Becker video talking about Loish's hands. I've been following the "when in doubtie one fingee outie" mantra ever since, it shouldn't be used as a default setting for fingers in every scenario obv but it DID help me understand more how the fingers moved relative to one another and how you could "trick" the complexity of hands into 1-2 easy shapes.

(if you've never watched Ethan Becker, don't take his style of comedy too seriously, he's not actually attacking anyone lol)

When it comes to my actual drawing process though, thanks to the way I draw Rekindled I've learned that I work a lot better by laying down solid shapes as my 'sketch', it works better for my brain to see immediately what's working and what's not, vs. a wireframe sketch that doesn't 'fill in the gaps' quite as much as solid color. So try that sometime, instead of sketching out a hand, just lay out the shapes with solid color. Personally I've learned the 'wireframe' structures or whatnot that you see in a lot of how-to-draw guides don't work for me because I find it over-complicates it-

(haha nope sorry too much for me, it's cool if this works for you but my brain cells are out on this one fam)

My brain thrives on simplicity and freedom of movement in my structures, so solid colors work a lot better for me in that regard. That said, what works for me might not work for you (and vice versa) so try your best to find new techniques and methods, you don't have to do the thing that people tell you you have to do to "get good". That's just what works for them.

And of course, do life studies! Here are some steps you can start off with that I think might really help for simplifying the life drawing process:

1.) Prepare a nice big canvas for yourself, if you're working digitally do not zoom in on that canvas, keep your fingers OFF that zoom wheel or the Z key or whatever you're clicking to zoom. Zooming removes the big picture and you need big pictures to break down.

2.) Pick a big brush size or a tool that can't become too detailed (so if you're doing digital, pick a round brush and bump the brush size up to a medium-large size, if you're doing traditional, get yourself a nice thicc charcoal stick)

3.) Rather than looking at other people's breakdowns of hands (which they made for themselves and their brains, not for you and your brain!) go and find some pictures of hands and break them down yourself, trace over them if you have to, fill them in with solid color or just draw yourself some cute mittens like Becker above, just whatever you gotta do to break those forms down into shapes that are simplified and easy for you to understand. Try out different hand shapes and finger positions, eventually you'll notice there are ways the hands can and cannot move and that's going to be the foundation you need to actually stylize them with your personal flair down the road - learn the rules first, then break them. And yes, tracing is okay if you're using it for educational purposes like personal art studies and shape breakdowns. Just keep it loose and for learning.

Yes, it really does come down to "just practice" BUT you can wind up practicing the 'wrong way' if you're doing the same things over and over again expecting different results so make sure to step outside of your comfort zone a little and experiment with new techniques even if it means coming up with your own. You never know what will work for you until you try it!

Hope that helps! Happy hand drawing! <3

Omg hiiii, I absolutely love Rekindled! You're so talented, and the story you're making for Persephone is so intriguing! A lot more than whatever trashfire Lore Olympus has become.

That being said, what was the moment you stopped liking LO Persephone? Have you always disliked her, or was it gradual? Or just a specific moment that made you go "yeaaaaah.. she's not it ;-;"

(And bonus question if I can ask, but how do you draw hands?? I hate them with a passion, but unfortunately hands are pretty necessary T^T)

aahhh thank you so much!!!

honestly, I was a pretty big fan of LO up until the trial arc. Like, you've all seen me hate this comic with a fiery passion, but the only reason I'm able to do that is because before I hated this comic, I loooved this comic. I'd literally be counting down the hours until new updates, I loved the art, and I was too smitten by the appeal of the series to notice its writing problems, I just loved the romantic drama and the H x P ship, and yes, I loved Persephone, I loved her design, her personality, and I felt so 'seen' by her struggles, both with her trying to pave a path for herself and the SA plotline. I was even (regrettably) one of those people who would lurk in the antiLO tags and think "wow, these people are dumb, can't they see how brilliantly written this is ?? they're nitpicking!"

But then the trial arc happened which involved writing a plot that didn't put the romance front and center anymore - now that Rachel had to actually write something complex and logic-driven, the blinders started to fall off and I went wait... maybe Rachel doesn't know what she's doing. Persephone choosing her own lawyer? And it's Hades, one of the judges? Why are they suddenly establishing Thanatos as Hades' adoptive son? I'm not a lawyer, but I know that's not how any of this works and it really tipped me off that something was amiss, that Persephone was having all of her solutions conveniently handed to her on a platter and all of the other characters were suddenly being made to look like assholes just to make Hades and Persephone the heroes.

And then... Eris happened.

See, one of the things I loved most in the story was Persephone's character arc concerning the Act of Wrath. I write stories about characters with dark "personas" all of the time. So it was something I had frame of reference for, I really loved the premise of Persephone earning her name through this act of violence and while it was dashed with the opening of S2 revealing it was "all an accident", I was excited to see how the trial arc would bring about new information and confirm who was telling the truth about what "really happened" with the Act of Wrath. If the courtroom drama wasn't gonna be realistic, I could at least hope for some good 'OBJECTION!' reveal that would finally put to rest once and for all what really happened, and maybe Kore would finally embrace this 'dark side' she had.

So for the actual twist to suddenly reveal itself as... 'actually, this one goddess we've never mentioned before blessed you with wrath. why? idk she just did. anyways she's the reason you have wrath and that's what made you commit the act of wrath. problem solved.'

And that was where the twisting of 'faith' happened. When I went through the subconscious realization of , "Oh no, Rachel doesn't know what she's doing and it took me this long to notice. Oh no, maybe those antiLO freaks had a point-"

That said, there was a glimmer of hope in the midseason finale. Persephone was sentenced to remain in the Mortal Realm to carry out her mother's duties and I thought, "great! This will be Persephone's Rocky moment! She'll have to prove herself without the help of Demeter or Hades! This is gonna be awesome!!" During the hiatus, I was VERY excited to see where the story was going, I still had so much hope and I figured the mishandling of the trial arc was just a bump in the road. The series was still good, it was just going through a rough patch, these things happen.

And then it came back and it all went downhill from there. There was a 10 year time skip with very little insight as to what happened. Minthe and Daphne were just suddenly back to normal. They were referencing some food shortage or terrible event that happened during Persephone's reign that they never explained in explicit detail. And now, all of a sudden, Persephone was just returning to the Underworld, where Kronos had suddenly taken over. I had cautious optimism but throughout it, I was really seeing the cracks that were already forming opening wide. A lot of what I had to say wasn't positive anymore, I literally couldn't understand what the reasoning was behind these writing decisions and I couldn't find myself rooting for Persephone anymore, everything just seemed to convenient and easy for her to make her seem like the "strong and confident" character the comic claimed her to be.

The S2 finale was my breaking point and I think it was for a lot of other people too. That was pretty much where my 'transformation' from passionate stan to passionate critic happened, and it happened alongside the creation of the UnpopularLoreOlympus subreddit which would become my new 'home' within the community. After seeing how much the story had gone downhill, it made me realize in hindsight just how awful and one-note Persephone is, how she really never cared about anyone but herself and Hades, how her mother did, actually, have a point about her being practically groomed into a relationship with a billionaire slave driver, how she was very intentionally drawn to look like a child in ways I couldn't believe I had never noticed before, the list of "awakenings" goes on. And it sucked! It sucked to have that realization that the thing I loved wasn't just imperfect, but incredibly problematic in its writing and art choices. And just like when I loved the comic, I couldn't just let go of it, I had to understand to some degree why this happened.

It happened because Persephone was always being written as a one-note, easy to project onto self-insert character. A Wattpad protagonist. Not an actual representation of the Goddess of Spring, but a blank slate for the creator and the fans to imagine themselves as purely for the power fantasy of hooking up with a rich and abusive guy.

That was when I made my first piece of LO art intended to be an 'edit' - a redraw of Persephone's rebirth as the Dread Queen from the S2 finale, an ode to the Persephone I was hoping to see but never got. The rest from there is history.

I know I'm being SUPER dramatic about it but this was literally how it felt to go through the realization that this comic - and its characters - wasn't as good as I thought it was, and I think that's a sentiment that's shared by a lot of the 'haters' in this community. LO was a big part of my life and even some of my friendships with people, so when it went downhill, it felt like such a hit to the gut. It's still a big part of my life, albeit in the opposite direction, but I still wonder sometimes over the "what ifs", what if the series hadn't turned out this way? What if I had never realized its flaws? Rekindled is basically a love letter to those what ifs, satisfying the feelings I never got to keep with LO, and giving me a reason to count down the hours on Saturday nights again. I'm glad it's made that same impact for others, too <3

[katatty]

Back home, uh, my defaults haven’t been kind to poor Alex.

[astrologista]

jason stop dying

ooooook i just watched ditf. it was PRETTY GOOD.... i only wish there was MOOORE! watching this REALLY brought me back to 2011 times to see it and i think they did a good job with most of the character design and animations insofar as matching it to the original. (maybe i’m totally wrong but i thought it looked good for the most part... also i just really love these character designs in particular). obviously the budget is not what it would be on a feature, so there are a LOT of places where animation gets recycled and many still frames. some parts are basically a slideshow lol. but i only sort of came to that realization awhile after watching, so i think they did a fairly good job of masking this... ymmv

so let’s get into it!!! 

SPOILERS a-head! do not read until you’ve watched it because i’ll spoil everything

now obviously the thing to be aware of if you are not is the fact that this adaptation is not a panel-by-panel adaptation of the original death in the family comic. all references to jason’s mother (save one mention of her dying of illness) are completely removed, they go to bosnia instead of africa, and the circumstances around jason leaving are also heavily altered to fit the new narrative. this adaptation does slot perfectly into the universe established by the under the red hood animated movie from 2011 though, without which one would be pretty confused when watching this. it’s kind of a mystery as to why they didn’t just package this with utrh and release the entire thing as a collectors edition. instead they package it with like 4 or 5 unrelated dc showcase shorts which makes absolutely 0 sense but go off i guess. anyway

i liked that they took the time to adapt the scene from the original ditf where bruce is talking to alfred about jason! (i do not like that alfred didn’t get any lines. bad choice). tbh i can’t understand why they bothered showing us alfred, barbara and dick if they weren’t gonna give them any lines..... like come on........??

HOW INTENSE BRUCE LOOKS WHEN HE FINDS JASON IN SARAJEVO and just. grabs him lol. hes smad :)

ok so one two skip a few and we get to the first branch. instead of calling 1-900 we now get to choose whether jason lives or dies. there are 7 possible endings i think i got em all so let’s see what we got here.

“Hush” Route - Robin cheats death

hgrgdggr. i definitely think this is one of the more interesting endings, if not the most interesting one. this is also the only ending in which both bruce and jason survive the bombing. bruce is still too late, but this time jason barely clings to life and survives. as a hurt/comfort fan i was 100% on this shit from the word go but then jason? runs away from home lmao lmao i thought that was SO funny because 1) hes super messed up, how is he able to just literally run out the house that is SO funny to me and 2) implying that bruce would ever not be keeping an eye on him after that is just, lmao. it’s so zany. i call this the “hush” route because of the bandages but there are no other references to hush so ok. that’s fair. so anyway jason is now angsty for loosely explained reasons but the most fun part is yet to come.

when talia showed up, i really thought / was terrified for a second that they were gonna bring up certain “events” regarding damian’s parentage / who damian’s father is but then she mentioned bruce and i was like OH THANK GOD WE CAN STILL GO TO HEAVEN. i am so so grateful to the writers for NOT going there. cuz it was damn close ok. im not sure what the implication of this route is in terms of talia, jason and damian being a family unit but i want to believe talia sees jason as a son and damian’s brother (which is how she refers to him, damian’s brother) and not... yknow. i mean. jason raising a baby is kind of like a baby raising a baby...

no actually the reality of this scene is really dfuckin interesting like. they actually go with the “birth of the demon” (forget if it was birth of the demon or bride of the demon. one of those.) explanation for damian and that is something i’ve NEVER seen adapted so whoever wrote this can have a cookie and i kNOW this is something a certain someone will appreciate :)

not only that but the implications? are interesting? so talia’s claim is she miscarried so bruce won’t have to “choose” between damian and jason and idk if she’s supposed to be all on the-up-and-up in this universe but. i’m sitting here like GIRL YOU DON’T GOTTA DO THIS HE HAS A PRIVATE JET HAVEN’T YOU HEARD OF SHARED CUSTODY and BETTER YET HE HAS A MANSION JUST GO ON MAURY AND GET THIS SORTED OUT RIGHT NOWwwww

i’m also LAUGHING at the implications of jason thinking theres anywhere on earth that he’s going to go and hide damian’s existence from bruce. because you already know he’s just going to be tearing the planet apart looking for jason so this is actually hilarious. imagine he finds jason in one piece and also a baby. his baby. he’d be like (@ talia) “OMG WHY WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN’T WANT THEM BOTH u are tearing me apart talia......” BUT THEN HE WOULD BE SO FREAKING HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS TWO ALIVE SONS AND HE THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH DEAD / (lost to crime)!!!

please lord imagine all of jason’s angst probably just originating from the fact that he has a brain injury that hasn’t fully healed and the trauma of going through all those surgeries probably gave him a lot of fear / paranoia about bruce and associating him with the joker because his neural pathways are all messed up but after he leaves he starts slowly healing back and regaining some of his lost sanity and thats when he realizes he misses bruce so much... but hes also raising his child... and every day it gets more difficult for him not to just take damian and bring him home and i ;v;

anyway i thought this route, while it had a few inconsistencies in it, was really freaking interesting and it gave me feels and plot bunnies and is probably the one i want to write about the MOST despite the fact that baby damian looks like a character from one of those web flash games in this lol

“True” End - Jason Dies

now if you select that jason dies the route basically defaults to the canon of under the red hood and the fact that utrh does not come packaged with this movie is a rather mystifying choice to me as i don’t think this adaptation would stand on its own very well. like you need quite a bit of background to really get anything out of watching this on its own, which is probably why it’s classified as a “short” and not as its own movie.

instead of showing all of utrh, it seems they took the opportunity to give a ~30 minute recap of utrh with basically entirely reused animation but they allow bruce to sort of. give his dvd commentary over it.

the biggest feeling i have on this is that it’s sad that they had to waste 30 minutes like this that could’ve been used to do something new and much more interesting, but honestly i’m not mad. it seems kind of obvious that this choice was probably made for budget and/or runtime reasons because a short does not get the same budget set aside as a full length feature film does. so they basically took the option of recycling 30 minutes of animation from the movie and dubbing new audio over it.

in evangelion they ran out of budget and that’s why the last two episodes consist of nothing more than still pencil drawings and frames while the characters engage in philosophical debates concerning the nature of reality and human connection. and i really enjoyed that. and for the same reasons, i also really enjoyed this.

i enjoyed seeing the clark kent of this universe. i enjoyed that he was basically out on a date with bruce. i enjoyed that bruce was willing to open up for once and tell clark all of what happened with jason. but what really makes this segment shine bright are bruce greenwood’s line reads. there are SO MANY good line reads in here. and i LOVED how many times he said the word “son”. very wholesome. the way he describes how he felt during the final fight with jason? probs my favorite FUCKING part.

and then him and clark joking together about contingency plans and then they’re going to work together to find jason and i ;_; this is probably the closest thing to a “good” ending but as a continuation of utrh i thought it worked really well. i really want to believe that bruce and clark did find jason in this route and that there was some closure in the end even though we didn’t get to see it.

including clark in this was DEFINITELY the right move as well, considering that he played a rather large role in the original ditf so it’s a welcome nod.

The rest of the branches exist under a separate option where Bruce makes it in time to save Jason from the warehouse... but Bruce dies......... :O

let me tell you bout it... bruce’s fucking DEATH SCENE i don’t know WHAT my man bruce greenwood is on, but the freaking LINE READS in this dialogue had me making INHUMAN NOISES. LIKE NOT ONLY WAS THE DIALOGUE GOOD, NOT ONLY DID HE SAY “I LOVE YOU, SON”, but this man is just an amazing actor. not just voice actor, but actor. he really really really really gave it the most i don’t know how else to say it....... it was very very well done and punched me sideways in the heart and i haven’t recovered and i’m not going to recover. and

ok so once we get past that.... scene.... u have to choose whether you’re going to catch the joker or kill the joker. bruce asks jason to promise not to kill the joker but technically jason doesn’t promise so........

Let’s start by choosing to kill the Joker. Jason attends Bruce’s funeral and various members of the Justice League show up to talk with him and just generally hang out. He has Alfred, Dick and Barbara as his support system, but Jason has some other plans.

This leads to a scene in a cafe where Jason meets with a man who... something something Killing Joke, flashlight, more Barbara being used as a plot device when she deserves better, Jason kills the Joker with a butter knife.

Once you do this you can choose to surrender to the police, or retaliate and escape.

Jailbird Ending

basically if you surrender to the police jason ends up in prison where he can actually attack even more criminals so.... ya

If you retaliate and escape instead you go to the Red Robin route where Jason becomes a vigilante who kills people much like the Red Hood and you get a further choice in a fight with Two Face where you can control how Harvey’s coin lands. 

Tim Ending!

If you choose the coin to land clean face up, the thing rewards you by having Tim show up and I forgot what happened (wasn’t really paying attention lol) because i was so focused on TIM!

Prolly they felt sorry for him what with Jason stealing what is essentially his outfit (ok I know it was Jason’s first, but Tim made it cool) so they let a little baby tim have an appearance :) he’s very smol

I guess in this ending Jason gets reintegrated with the family somehow and Tim becomes “Bat-kid” which is hilarious to me but you know what it’s cute. CUTE.

The one ending where the coin lands scarred side up

i honestly forget what happens if you choose to have the coin land scarred side up but let me just say this is a FUCKED route to take, not only have you had jason survive and bruce die, you’ve now chosen to kill the joker against bruce’s dying wish, you’ve chosen to attack the police, and at the end of that you really are gonna choose harvey’s coin to be scarred face up???? choosing this made me feel like a DICK because here i am supporting jason’s whole fall to madness and villainy thing the way it wants me to and now he’s gonna die HERE? i hate it here.

interestingly enough he doesn’t actually die in this route. he ends up at home with barbara and dick while dealing with the fact that he killed the joker but the route ends with jason saying “i promise” so i guess this is supposed to be kinda sad. im so confused lol ok

So that is all the options if you choose to kill the joker, I believe. You can also make the choice to just catch him instead of killing him but amazingly enough, those routes are even more FUCKED up. 

If you do this option Jason goes home, mourns Bruce with Dick, Barbara and Alfred, and becomes Red Hood BUT with a twist, he’s entirely on a bloodless operation in line with Bruce’s wishes. OR.... IS HE?

Things then follow the events of UTRH until the scene on the bridge with the van and the guys. Jason finally confronts Joker, who reveals the truth. 

Apparently in this route Jason has actually been killing and decapitating his victims just like in the original movie, but he’s repressed it so as to not even realize to himself that he’s doing it.

that is FUCKED. also. i wanna cry because jason doing all of that stuff but not even realizing it ;------; jason blocking it out, because he wanted to honor bruce’s wishes for him not to kill anyone ;______; but he’s doing it anyway ;_____; he’s actually hearing voices telling him to kill ;____; like it’s a very cheap twist in a sense and also really quite cruel but.... damn, son.

There is a branch here where you can choose to spare or kill the Joker at this point (UNDERTALE???) but from what I can tell it seems to be totally meaningless what choice you pick because you end up at the exact same point either way, I think there’s a small variation in what happens after you make the choice but after that they just coalesce back together into the following two endings. Which seems incredibly cheap to me, I mean making a choice like that should alter Jason’s path completely but, it doesn’t! So... ooook....

Either way Jason ends up on the Wayne building and Talia shows up with a re-animated Bruce from the pit. Here’s another fun blast from the 2011 past with more gratuitous Grant Morrison dreck, remember that shit? Well, they’re gonna jam it down your throat here, too.

The reanimated Bruce is the Zur En Arrh Bruce and he’s already dead so this is all meaningless but basically Jason fights him and you get to choose whether everybody lives or dies.

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Lives!

if you pick this, jason actually gets the re-animated bruce back to the batcave and they lock him up down there because he’s still pit-mad and the prognosis is not great. but i’m not sure what they expected, he is the zur-en-arrh guy so I don’t think he’s getting better. 

Zur En Arrh - Everyone Dies!

pretty much there’s an explosion and all three of them die and that’s it

I think that should be all the possible endings there are.

By the way the different ways in which black mask dies in this was actually a fairly clever running gag lollll. let that mf burn we don’t need no water.

overall there are a couple of things i would have done to SIGNIFICANTLY improve this adaptation beyond some of the obvious ones.

- the fact that all of the branching options are branched exclusively under the “jason lives and bruce dies” branch is a huge wasted opportunity. imo this is the most egregious problem with this, i was really looking for a more balanced tree / explanation of different things. i am probably super biased though being a fic writer and used to fic, we’re the ones making huge ass trees every day lol.

- the fact that there is no “good” ending here is something i kind of expected but given the context of this is lackluster. i sort of get it though because granted, the original ditf ends in an unresolved manner but it’s distinctly unsatisfying here. i secretly wanted an ending where bruce, like, figures out about the different endings and hacks reality to try to find a good ending where jason lives and everything is fine lmao. like a bat mite ending.

- i was disappointed in a sense that the narrative given in here is so basically simplistic? maybe i’ve been spoiled by games like 999 and undertale where shit gets messy and that’s not what this is supposed to be but when i play something with multiple endings in this day and age, at least play with the concept a little bit and connect some of the branches together narratively. use different devices. i was also hoping some of the choices would be a little bit meatier like you could choose to “forgive bruce” or something cool like that lol. but it looks like the majority of choices have to do with who lives or dies. and i felt like they couldve been a bit more creative with that ya know? being able to control harvey’s coin was a GREAT example of having some more fun with this.

- it is a huge missed opportunity not to have a “secret ending” on something like this. like where. the fuck. is my secret ending for completing everything. come on. and in a similar vein there should’ve been at least something in terms of bruce and jason interacting in a “true ending”. even if very brief. the closest thing to an ending this has is the “jason died” route and then the ending where he’s talking to clark which i feel like was a REALLY nice good optimistic ending as far as this goes, but it comes off as kind of disappointing i guess

there were SO many interesting nuggets locked into this thing though. i can’t deny it bugs me how many wasted opportunities there were with how they chose to structure things but i guess it’s the best you can do with limited runtime. i thought it was really well done though, makes an interesting companion piece to the original utrh, and is definitely something that i will be re-watching again soon!! overall i give it a 7/10 and some parts an 8/10+!

[mrcrowblargs]

muwahaha thank you again for delightful commentary! a smooch is a classic move to silence a spellcaster. for any reason lmao.

I definitely wish the game had more variation in body types. I can tell that they did do some tweaks for companions because Astarion is definitely smaller than the thin masc body, but he still has the default 6 pack which like WHY because the men in this game got no strength. I do think he should be more on the soft lithe side. Attractive but not threatening.

That said my original image of Aldiirn was much more like Astarion, you can kinda see it in some of my first doodle comic stuff where i gave him narrower features too. I figured I would make Aldiirn stockier and with some padding for contrast, and more squarey shapes to Astarion's triangles. Aldiirn's a bard, he's up for a good song and a good meal! And he's also meant to be very unassuming, not someone you'd expect to be helping the folk who just robbed you blind.

A friend called me out that Astarion is VERY MUCH like D&D characters I play as, from figure to history. Hell, if I played Astarion origin as a Paladin it would be very similar to a spawn character I played ages ago -- forced into a life he didn't want [tho in his case soldiery], wanted to kill his master, managed to get free of vampire weaknesses at cost of power, wanted to become super vampire that could walk in day and lord over everything, white hair and very vain... technically Aldiirn is like 3 AUs removed from that guy.

Someday I gotta do a lineup of the companions just to get my headcanon body types out there

My Tav falls for Astarion’s seduction routine 100% but is very stupid about it. Stabbiness is just Astarion’s love language, right???

Look it’s just the logical continuation of the relationship for a poor boy who got some wires crossed through adventuring.

tbh tho Aldiirn fell more for Astarion because the latter’s seduction act - beyond boinking - made him feel special, and at this point Astarion had been feeding on him every night for a while and not going too far. And despite being babyfaced and soft, Aldiirn’s no stranger to cutthroat types and getting into criminal mischief. So he trusted Astarion to not go too far and red flags were just, well, it’s normal to wield a knife at someone you don’t trust.

[thatlittledandere]

id love to read your essay if you feel like sharing it... yosuke worms are consuming my brain and i need stuff like that to survive (no pressure tho if you dont feel comfortable sharing it!!)

I'd be very comfortable sharing it, I love attention, but there's nothing in it you don't already know. I originally wrote it privately for a friend who just started P4G and asked me to tell her about Yosuke's removed romance because she's a supportive angel. But here it is anyway, 863 words of "why Yosuke should be Yu's boyfriend", in its original form aka my very unprofessional side notes included.

First we gotta look at the dateable social links, sorry for minor spoilers maybe. Of course, if you're going to date one these girls, you need to lay on the groundwork so the confession or getting-together scene feels natural if you decide to go that route. So all the girls have some romance coded scenes and dialogue. Then you look at Yosuke's and he has some of the same things... Yosuke's rank 9 (like ranking from 8 to 9) is arguably one of the most romantic scenes in the game, and referenced in like 70% of canon compliant fanfics lmao

I'm mostly comparing Yosuke's social link to my girlfriends Yumi and Rise, because they're the ones I finished. With both of them, you got into a relationship by hugging them, and it's sometimes said that hugging is Persona 4 code for "we're dating now". It's something intimate, even more so in Japan. Strangely enough, the game also let's you hug Yosuke in his rank 8. (if you did everything right in RANK 7, which I think is UNFAIR. I ONLY LOOKED AT THE WALKTHROUGH FOR THE CURRENT RANK AND IT DID NOT WARN ME SO I TOOK THAT ONE CHANCE TO GO APE WHEN APPARENTLY I SHOULDN'T HAVE AND I GODDAMN LOST THAT CHANCE) So it's my theory that Yosuke's romance flag used to be there until it was removed.

Also, Yumi was able to come out and say "I love you" in clear words, but not everyone is that direct. Rise for example shyed away from The Three Words despite already being in a relationship with the protagonist; she's an idol and an actress and her line went something like "come on, I've confessed my love hundreds of times on TV, why can't I do it in person? ...You're special to me." The Japanese generally say I love you a lot less than many English-speaking people, and it's a very context heavy language and culture in general, so we're expected to understand that "you're special to me" is a love confession, just like hugging was a symbol of starting a relationship. 

Now, Yosuke also tells the protagonist "you're special to me" in the aforementioned rank 9. This happens after the rank where you had the option to hug him, so if his romance had been kept in, you likely would have been in a relationship with him at this point. It's a direct parallel to another, explicitly romantic scene, with the character many players see as something of a default dating option for Yu.

The romance was likely cut out very late in development, as some datamined deleted lines for Yosuke were recorded in English. It's on YouTube where anyone can check it out. It would fit neatly in Yosuke's rank 8, 9 or 10. The most important part of it in reference to this wall of text is that he goes and says "I like you" in it. "I never knew I had such... Heat inside. B-but don't make me say stuff like that! ...Don't go. I like you." Combine that with Yuri Lowenthal's delivery, and I'm convinced it's exactly what it sounds like.

But it looks like the only thing they removed​ in the end was these lines and the "you are now dating Yosuke" notice. The rest of his social link was left as is... Very romances-coded. And that's not even all of it! They didn't leave it at his social link! Yosuke has lines subtly hinting at being interested in or having feelings for the protagonist all throughout the game. Some even speculate it was supposed to be the "canon" romance.

Atlus has never given any answer to why it was removed. Maybe some people on the team made it but the main director, known to be somewhat homophobic, didn't allow it. Maybe it was a case of higher-up intervention. Maybe they didn't think it fit Yosuke's character or his story arc. Whatever it was, it must have been something heavy and irreparable, as they didn't take the easy opportunity to add it into Golden four years later. It would have required considerably less work than adding in two new social links, several group events and new dungeon/s (i don't know how many there are).

Anyway, I think Yosuke romance would have been beneficial. Not just for the obvious "representation is important" sense, but for Yosuke's character as well. It can be argued that if he was still grieving Saki in his later ranks he may not be ready for a relationship yet, but it is shown that Yu was of great help and importance for him, and would have undoubtedly had no negative influence on Yosuke as a boyfriend any more than as a best friend. But in acknowledging his feelings for Yu, Yosuke would have been forced to address and maybe overcome his homophobia. Choosing to date Yosuke and showing him he's desirable may have helped him with his self-worth issues. Obviously the route would be off-putting to many, but so are many of the existing romances. Nobody is obligated to play it.

In conclusion, we were robbed. And I bet I forgot something important.

[comicteaparty]

April 4th-April 10th, 2020 Creator Babble Archive

The archive for the Creator Babble  chat that occurred from April 4th, 2020 to April 10th, 2020.  The chat focused on the following question:

What is something you’ve improved with in regards to writing or comic creation thanks to working on your story?

carcarchu

Oh this one i can answer definitively. it's 100% lineart. forcing myself to have to do lineart for hours everyday is definitely a way to force yourself to get better at it while i still don't like it it's something that i can do now without being scared about it

shadowhood (SunnyxRain)

Colouring. I had to get really creative in expressing emotion and hinting plot devices with colour. Also got much better with drawing gesture drawings due to looking at a lot of references!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Either writing dialogue or drawing/painting backgrounds... I used to be particularly awful at writing dialogue. It was too stiff and formal, and sounded a lot like old prose. Now, because of writing a comic and going through several scripts, the dialogue is a lot more natural, and the pacing is more realistic to actual conversations. And the other: backgrounds. I really used to not even draw them at all, and doing a comic forced me to have to think about environments in scenes. So I went from drawing floating characters to having to consider where they are and how it affects the story/mood.(edited)

Feather J. Fern

Paneling! That was my main focus to figure out how to do good paneling to have clearer pages

Deo101 [Millennium]

Honestly? Everything. It's all gotten better and I've learned so much. I would say my biggest improvement is probably in my time management, and art wise is probably composition and layouts. But it's hard to pick because I've grown so much in every aspect!

chalcara [Nyx+Nyssa]

Biggest thing I learned was to keep the story small and focused - and that the smaller, more human struggles are much better in creating tension than the whole default "the world's gonna end!" thing. Mind you, I still love a good "world's ending" story, but you gotta make people CARE about the people in that world first!

Holmeaa - working on WAYFINDERS

ohohohoooo I have done more drawing in photoshop in this short time I have worked on Wayfinders, than the rest of my life! That has given me some skills for sure! Coloring is another one, and generally just efficiency and flow in a comic

Nutty (Court of Roses)

For me it's been my use of color, and getting more confident in experimenting with it to really drive home a scene's mood!

LadyLazuli (Phantomarine)

The clearest improvement I always notice is my layouts - I’ve gotten more adventurous with panel shapes and placement as time has gone on, experimenting with more interesting designs for the whole page. Some of those experiments haven’t been totally successful but it always feels like a worthwhile try. I’ve gotten some really, REALLY cool layouts out of these experiments, and I love seeing how dynamic the panels have become compared to my first chapter. Also speed. I’m so much faster now. Thank gooooooodness (edited)

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@LadyLazuli (Phantomarine) I've definitely noticed the experimental panel layouts! They're really cool.

AntiBunny

Planning. Book 2 is when I started using sketchbook thumbnails to plan ahead. The luxury of that first draft meant I could rethink panel layouts and how to best express the events happening if I first had an idea of what was happening laid out.

Also digital art by necessity since I switched to digital during the current arc. I was decent at lineart already, but other aspects have really challenged me to grow as an artist. I had to totally rethink the way I create backgrounds for instance. During this time the background quality actually declined a little while I got used to a new method, but experience has improved my skills greatly as I force myself into new methods.

DanitheCarutor

Hmmm maybe paneling, speechbubbles and backgrounds? My current project is my second real attempt at doing a comic, but I have learned a lot of stuff from the community and general art and story tutorials. Backgrounds and bubbles were the worst for me when first starting out, I only read manga before starting so the speechbubble shapes did not fit with how English is written. Plus I've only drawn wooded fantasy settings before making my comic, so using a ruler, figuring out perspective points and drawing buildings was very new to me. I still hate drawing cities and such, but I've gotten a lot better at it and it is easier to do now. Since I mostly stuck with B&W before my current project, coloring also kind of improved? Depending on who's looking at it. Lmao If I were to think about story/characters/dialogue, I have no idea if I've improved. Honestly, I don't pay much attention to the quality. Also my brain kinda says it's all bad regardless of what I make.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

For my Improvements: I'm getting better at my comic panels, as I adjust to the vertical style. Before I've always drawn the standard format. It's more than just boxes, I try to keep a variety of sizes. I'm picking up roughly how much 'gutter space' I need per 2-3 panels.etc I'm also improving on choosing colors that fits my love of detailed linework.(edited)

OH! I'm also learning about Clip studio shortcuts, how to use the assets they provide which makes the process, abit easier on me. Things I need to change, is I want to get a good speedy coloring style, without referring to my usual coloring.(edited)

Tuyetnhi (Only In Your Dreams!)

the more I worked on the comic, the more I feel ambitious in making different angles and perspective. So it's really hitting me out of my comfort zone which is good! lol Though I'm trying to keep in mind of my speed, what I feel like I've improved a bit is trying to keep in mind of paneling and dialogue.

FeatherNotes(Krispy)

Process! Space and i have definitely figured out the most productive way to produce content at the rate and quality that also provides us with time for our own projects. Comics are a useful tool that helps you discover ways to better organize your creative workflow for sure!

sssfrs (JOE IS DEAD)

I think probably scenery. I used to dread drawing inanimate objects but now I feel more confident in filling in a scene & even look forward to it sometimes. Maybe also page composition and paneling but I still have a lot to learn there

eli [a winged tale]

One of the reasons I embarked on the webcomic journey is to push myself to improve not only storytelling but also utilizing art to create a reader experience that would be difficult to replicate with just words. I’d like to think that 9 months into making A Winged Tale, I’ve improved on deciding when is a good opportunity to invest more into backgrounds vs character dynamics and when should be focused more on sequences of panels and composition. While the comic is written in a four panel format, more and more I’m finding areas where the story could be told by breaking those rules (attached pic). It’s a balance and I hope going forward I will improve more in pushing the limits of panels and find ways to express the story in fun and interesting ways.(edited)

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

Wow that's a very good description @eli [a winged tale] I look forward to reading more of your story journey

eli [a winged tale]

Thanks so much Joichi! I’m eager to keep learning~

Capitania do Azar

I'm gonna go with planning and actually getting it done. I'm so much faster because now the process is much more streamlined to me

kayotics

My whole comic was started s an exercise to just get better at comics generally so I’d probably say every part I’ve improved at? The biggest things are probably colors and the upfront planning process

Phin (Heirs of the Veil)

Ooof hard question. I think my main improvement lies with page and speechballoon layouts and writing natural feeling dialouge. I'd say maybe also character acting?

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I'm slowly learning how to create more engaging comic narrative. I read and research in the polished prem webcomics to see what makes them engaging? Like I'm going to challenge myself by creating a series of short stories with a reoccurring set of characters. Every new comic series I create is an experience, trial and error. Sometimes I skip the writeup and just go in blind, trust my own instincts. I'm glad to reach out and talk about it than in my own head. I hope by this year, I'll have at least 2 chapters of Hybrid Dolls out.(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I've definitely gotten better at planning/ outlining multiple chapters ahead of time. I did not even do this when I was doing the first 10 something chapters. (I did attempt an outline before I began the comic, but the story changed significantly from the outline by the time I started the comic, and I did not try to do it again for a long while.) I can't remember when I started, but I do recall having a lot of trouble the first time I tried to do it. It's gotten a little easier each time, though. In fact, I just spent the past few days outlining the next few very important chapters, de-tangling some big tangles. I'm really glad my outlining (and overall writing) skills had leveled up, because HOO boy, I don't think my 2014-2015 self could have done this!

I also became friends with enviros. I had already become somewhat comfortable drawing perspective when HoK started, but I had a sort of mechanical approach to it, like "oh I need some enviro for these establishing shots, guess I'll draw them." But now I LOVE drawing enviros! (some types anyway...) It's my comfort activity, something I treat myself to after a long day! In the thumbnails for my next few pages, there's a few enviro-heavy panels that I have to remove, because I drew too many of them (and the pacing got too slow as a result). I have to stop myself from drawing too many of these.

My biggest improvement is probably I've come to understand my characters and my themes much better, but that's more of a "I got better at making HoK" than a "I got better at making comics." There's definitely a difference between the two.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

@keii’ii (Heart of Keol) ah I totally understand I tried the outline method before I start but my story changed alot after I drew it. So it start to feel like a waste of time for me, but I'll still write an outline to make sure to plan where my story heads(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Yeah! I needed to draw those first few chapters to understand the direction of my own story.

The drawing part is an essential part of self-reflection, to try to understand what it is that I want out of the story. The answer has always been there in my heart, but I'm not able to see it clearly from the get-go.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I end up breaking scenes and put them in for future episodes, since I want to get a certain flow in the story.

It could be tricky to see what it is you want out of the story until you are in at least 3 chapters in?

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

I needed way more than 3 chapters -- though granted, my chapters are short, so that could be a part of it

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

I see the early first script as testing the water. like a test to figure out the characters personalities. Unless you are bringing in old characters which you knew before?(edited)

keii’ii (Heart of Keol)

Even if the characters have been with you for a while, unless I have made a comic with them, there is a big chance that the characters will completely change, too.

DanitheCarutor

You know, I was thinking about about this, mostly about how I wouldn't have been happy if I was able to finish my comic the day I started. Then I realized I'm happy that I didn't. The first chapter wasn't the best, I was just learning how to coloring a comic, still fleshing out my characters and was still brainstorming small kinks in the story. I also still didn't have as much of an understanding of perspective, or panel and bubble layout. Even though I still have a lot I need to work on, I've gotten a lot better in all those aspects. Even though my use of color is weird, I've definitely gotten much more confident in it, enough so that I experiment and take a lot more risks with style. Even though my panelling can be boring, I have a much better understanding of how I want a page to look. I've improved a lot with my planning as well, like even though my thumbnailing/storyboarding only takes maybe 30, I've learned to step away for a bit if I don't like a layout, or analyzing why I don't like it and brainstorming ways to make it better. If I had magically finished the comic all at once, it would look really bad and may have been less readable.

Joichi [Hybrid Dolls]

That is inspiring to hear about your improvement @DanitheCarutor

Natsu-no-Hikari

Chiming in! Just this week, Miko (my co-creator) and I were discussing how far we've come from when we started our first comic (https://liarsgotoparadise.com/) vs. where we are now. I think there have been a lot of learn experiences, such as art, dialogue, general editing - but especially with pacing and character interaction. We regret that we didn't stop to focus more on that interaction, as we wanted to move ahead in the story...and now we can't change that, except to start now and not allow ourselves to grow impatient. Take our time and enjoy the journey - that's our new motto. There's a time to rush ahead in perilous moments, but there's also definitely a time to catch our breaths and let the characters mingle and speak. It's an improvement that will become more noticeable going forward in Liars and our second comic as well.

[queer-vampire]

sooooo what are your active WIPs? 👀

ok my guy you asked for it. also i miscounted originally, i have NINE WORKS IN PROGRESS

disclaimer: ALL CHARACTERS ARE BISEXUAL UNTIL STATED OTHERWISE (no one is straight)

Invictus

this is my firstborn. my child. my love. it started out as a mcu fanfic but holy shit it’s grown so much bigger than that. it’s about Lilith, my beloved vampire child, who lives her life trying to figure out who she is. she’s got her adopted brother, Jared, who is like her second half. her adopted sister Isabela who could care less about morality. then she’s got her closest friends: Maria (trans woman!) and Abraham Van Helsing (siblings), Mordecai (love interest), Moira, and Thomas Harker, Samson (Helaku) and Shaw (Waya) Harlow. there is SO much more but i have the other 7 to talk about lmao. i have a blog for the book series and have a pinterest board for the story (characters are separate on my account)

Under the Windy City

its my version of the YA genre. but the kids are actually in their 20s cause teens should NOT be doing these dangerous tasks. again its a hefty plot so i’ll keep it simple. its set in modern day. the only change is that natural disaster is closer than we predicted. three 20 somethings end up being experimented on to save their lives from terrible accidents. as a result, they are brought into a whole new underground world of scientists and activists trying to find ways for the human race to evolve and to save earth. there will be three sides: extremists (the first trio of the experiments but it went wrong), the middle (the scientists, activist, and our new main trio), and the deniers (your billionaires, your closed-minded christians, your climate change deniers, etc etc). the clock is ticking as natural disaster is on the rise and the trio must try and save humanity. yes, i have a pinterest board for the story (characters are separate on my account)

The supernatural trilogy: Dark to Light, Whose Woods These Are I Think I Know, and Reapers

yes, its a trilogy, but none of the books are connected by characters. its connected by the fact that its based in reality and follows detectives with a supernatural twist. 

Dark to Light follows a woman who is a detective and she has many psychic abilities such as speaking with the dead, sensing death, etc. 

WWTAITIK follows two retired detectives (who are also husband and wife) dragged back into the world as an old case of theirs comes back to haunt them. her deranged sister killed his younger sister just before killing herself. the sister confessed to all the serial killings they were following. but she also told everyone that the spirit told her to do it. after laying their family members to rest, the couple retired and moved north to remove themselves from society. now they work at a lumber company to get by. they also have to raise their niece that his sister left behind. after nearly 10 years, their old friend comes back with a case that mirrors the past case down to every detail. basically they gotta figure out wtf is going on and oh shit ghosts arent real, are they?

Reapers follows another married detective couple. she dies while getting to nosy on a large case. a year later she’s resurrected by a native american woman from legends ago. there is a whole cult of women resurrected to get vengeance on their killers. our main ch finds her husband again and the rest of the story follows this group taking on the case that killed our girl. its has deeper roots than they thought and opens up many other issues to follow. this book will be a big one with two volumes. this book could be two books easily but i gotta keep it a trilogy so...

If I Should Die and What Lies Underneath

this one is my second child. ive had it for a while now. 

the plot of both follows a woman (young adult in the first book) as her niece goes missing and she goes on a suicidal mission to try and get her back. the first book ends without a happy ending. the second book takes place almost 20 years later and our girl is a detective (she now works with the detectives that worked on her case and helped her do some illegal shit). we find out who took her niece, but it isn’t a fun reveal. this is so vague but i feel like this covers it fairly well. holy shit i keep forgetting i dont have a pinterest board for this story ahhh

Blood on These Hands

a new baby. the newest. i got inspired by mudbound (2017). it follows a woman returning back from WWII after getting the highest honor and getting honorably discharged in early 1945. she served with both the soviets and the usa. instead of returning to her home state, she fulfills a promise she made to a close friend from the war. she moves down south to work for his family. she deals with sexism, racism in the eyes of a white women and how sometimes her helping actually harms, and all the psychological effects of war and childhood trauma. this pinterest board was easy to make since i knew exactly what the aesthetic would be

Untitled work

another new baby. this one was actually a dream i had. the dream came in two parts, and im unsure about the second part so idk if that will make a 10th work in progress or not. 

this one also follows a woman returning home from the iraq war. she ends up having to take care of the family cabin so she decides to just move in. the town is small so word travels fast. and since she’s had a rough past, the town still whispers about her. for work, her adopted sister and the sisters girlfriend open up a center for women, kids, mentally ill, lgbtq, victims of systematic or direct racism, and all abuse victims to come and get help and shelter. most of the townsfolk dont like it so the conflict is trying to keep the shelter alive and growing. our main ch also connects with an old childhood friend. his family cabin is across from hers, and she finds out quickly that hes not really there by choice. with trying to keep the shelter alive, she also tries to help her childhood friend get out under his fathers abusive ruling. and yes you bet your ass i have a pinterest board

and there you have it! all my active WIPs. will you be able to read any of these soon? i can say with complete honesty: no. will you ever be able to read any of these? i have no fucking clue. one thing is for certain: Invictus will get done no matter what. if it kills me, thats how i want to go. everyone needs to experience that book series otherwise i might go insane. @sweetstilesofmine (and by default my sis @p-rincesskaguya) dont hear the end of my rants about invictus. so they might lose their minds if i dont publish it either. 

anyway i hope you enjoyed this and yes PLEASE ask me specifics if you want to know more! i’ll never shut up about them so if you’re willing to give an ear, i’ll scream.

(also idk if i need to do this, but uh, don’t fucking steal these ideas or titles. this shit is MINE and let it be known that i CLAIM IT)

[makubes]

(Rock)’S RP plotting sheet

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted. 

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mun name: Ray OOC Contact: IMs, discord, and twitter if you’re really up for that

Who the heck is my muse anyway:

I’ll try to be concise and not info dump for 15 paragraphs but basically Tezuka had a recurring cast of characters for his manga known as the Star System and Rock was a main star, meaning he was a character who showed up a lot. He debuted in 1949 as a sweet adventurous detective boy but continued trauma eventually morphed him into a cold, charismatic villain type, first playing such a role in the 1966 manga Vampire and continuing to take on such roles to present day. Interestingly he still gets heroic roles as well. He’s a very experimental character (the others almost always play the same type of character) which is part of what makes him so interesting.

The version of him I play on here is one of my own design, taking elements I liked from everything I’ve seen, read, or at least know a fair bit about and meshing that all together to make something both unique and familiar (to the 2 ppl who know him anyway)

By default my Rock is a vain, self-centered, know-it-all 16yo brat who puts on a public facade of being a sweet boy detective while doing some blackmail work on the side in an attempt to salvage the broken relationship with his adoptive father. Also he demanded godhood from a deity (the phoenix specifically) and for his hubris was cursed for the next 100 lifetimes to always live and die in tragedy, but that’s a minor detail really.

Points of interest:

Things people would notice right away: his snazzy suits, those designer shades, his gorgeous blue eyes if he’s not wearing those, his hair?? idk uh. 

Things people might notice while talking to him: his way of speaking: it’s a little off. He sounds very formal and very old. Not like a child at all. A particularly observant person might even notice that it seems insincere. If he’s not bothering with the facade then his ego is pretty much impossible to miss.

What they’ve been up to recently:

No good lmao. I mean I already said it above he’s trying to salvage the relationship with his father but like that involves him doing a lot of crime? He does have more realistic aspirations though like world domination, obtaining all knowledge of the universe, and gaining immortality. 

By that though I mean Rock is a very good boy who’s been very busy with his studies and thus hasn’t had time to even think of doing anything bad (not that he would of course)

Where to find them:

Find him at your local bar drinking away his sorrows despite clearly being underage. In dark alleys on backstreets making unsavory deals. Out driving late at night, speeding down the highway without a care in the world, at some stuffy business party making no attempt to hide his discomfort or boredom, as he’s come to know that no one at these events notices or cares. At the mall splurging on cute skirts and makeup to forget about his troubles. IDK there’s more but you know.

Current plans:

IDK I’m just kinda BSing it on here lmao. I do wanna write up a proper bio page eventually as well as maybe actually work on that NPC page I never really made? Also I gotta update my playlist lmao

Desired interactions:

Rock needs to smooch some boys. oK but beyond that I just want more relationships in general? Like positive or negative IDC I just need more cuz rn I don’t have a lot

Offered interactions:

He can be your devil or angle. dsaoifhweiorhtfosd nO BUT REALLY Rock is a super flexible character so if we count AUs then I can offer a lot of different stuff.

Current open post/s:

People didn’t respond to my opens so I stopped making them lmao. 

Anything else?:

I’m pretty much online every day but I’m often tired from work and on top of that have an anxiety disorder so I don’t really message people. I’m trying to work on that! But as it stands I worry that I’m annoying people so I’m sorry if it seems like I’m ignoring you! I don’t mean to!

Tagging: @latesco @berlitzed @superel IDK take it!

[unproduciblesmackdown]

its just wild idk how to say the experience of just like...it being a wholeass fixture in your life that you’re gonna off urself...i guess in earlier times (almost been aware of being suicidal for a whole decade babes) it was also that i just...like assumed that my future was gonna involve some whole disaster that was going to wreck the whole damn thing idk. like i always knew i didnt have the kinda situation where i had somebody to fall back on no matter what & i did very much know that i had the kinda situation where if it looked like the identity ppl thought i had fell through and it turned out i wasnt thriving in all of this and actually just kinda miserable and on my own, instead of having ppl who would be There For Me No Matter What i had the ppl who would want nothing to do w me except for further beat me down..........so yeah i guess ive been feeling like my future was only Doom since like 12 def...maybe earlier if you look at it idk its like wondering when i was starting being depressed fulltime. probs like age 3 idk

anyhow the point is....hard to explain what its like having the constant sense that you don’t have a future thats good & in your control & something you want, or that even exists right. like sometimes i imagine thinking abt the future in the ways that other ppl might, in the way that you assume you’ve got a good while and that there’s things you’ll get to do that you like or you’ll pursue your ambitions or whatever and its weird i think about it for like 3.3 sec and its like tf.........its like when you get some kinda Aroma Memory where your brain remembers that smell from 18.6 yrs ago & you have a 0.62second window to try to think of where its from while you have some fleeting visual/emotive memory.......sometimes i’ll just have some kinda emotional echo from a less depressed life and its like ?????? havent had this feeling in this exact way for a minute. its weird its like lol this doesnt belong to me anymore..

anyways for another solid like.....6-7 yrs its been kind of “i’ll be surprised if i make it another yr alive” with various ups & downs in that level of surprise along the way.....more like a Down lately lmao its wild how impossible it seems to make it a few more days or weeks when youre having a worse day than usual, having an on avg Worse period that lasts for months & months and etc is just....wild baby. if you havent felt it for even a day its not something you can really imagine. if u know what its like to feel like ur gonna die for a longterm period then you know what it is..

like always, maybe this is my year baby!!! in terms of death. if im thinking abt maybe this is the year i suddenly Succeed on all fronts and i never again have to think about kms, then that’ll be a struck-by-lighting, same-shuffled-card-deck-order twice in a row, sheer chance out of nowhere. your life isnt steered towards goodness because you’re good enough or Only As Much As You Can Handle or anything and ive been too deep in it this whole time to have ever been set up to not get the rug pulled out from under me several times over and yknow once you fall down even once, unless you’re really solidly backed up, the odds arent in your favor about not getting continuously run over the rest of the time. wind isn’t really at ur back there.

like im so glad abt every person ive run into who ive had in my life for more than like 5 hrs and im lucky that i was at least born recently enough to have had the internet/texting mostly regularly from 14 y.o. onward.....if i didnt im sure i wouldve been......even so much more isolated than i was. l o l . . . . ive got to feel like some ppl care abt me which is nice and didnt happen too much before then. its also good i draw lmao coz besides for the most part thats how i talk the best & how i get in touch w most of the ppl who end up sticking around enough i talk to more than like a couple of times.....but tho of course ive never like, found arbitrary success in terms of either my own solo financial boon to transcend any and all problems or ever just like bonding w a bunch of ppl like ride or die for life baby. coz like.....why would i do either. if you werent born into financial stability, let alone wealth, and if you didnt just happen to pick up these deep unshakeable relationships along the way at times when it didnt really matter.....good luck picking those things up further along the way when stuffs even shittier. i may’ve been lucky w the internet/texting timing but i wasnt lucky w the financial crisis hit or really just being born after the 80s, economy wise......or lucky w being isolated socially since age 4 and always having to feel distanced from ppl coz i could sense the difference & stigma of being someone abused & miserable before i was even really that self aware of the extent of those things about me.........oh well. coz again w the internet and me happening to draw enough prior to age 14 that i was always considered “good” at it, and then finding that i like to draw fanart for myself lol....so i could at least connect w ppl some ways right. or via text posts sometimes lmao....and im lucky that the ‘net / having a phone gave me a medium for those things & being connected to some ppl. and im lucky im gay & not cis & got to figure that out & enjoy it coz thats the best thing abt me.......

anyways even if say life was perfect for me magically i still wouldnt be able to relate to seeing yourself pursue your ambitions coz like i always say...ive never really had those lmao. wasnt able to baby.....its like there’s always that idea that ppl whose life is defined by Survival, who’ve been exposed to trauma &/or abused, that if you drop them into a safe stable situation w/friends and all and whatever then suddenly they’ll be a “regular” person, like there’s some inherent core of everyone where they Know what its like to get to live in a healthy environment w a certain perspective on other ppl & how they’ll treat you, and if you just remove someone from bs they’ll just shift over to that Default that is like oh lol yeah im like everybody else. like nah its a whole different kind of world / life you’ve not even necessarily adapted to, maybe its what you grew in. and you can adapt to a better life & grow further in that but its not a matter of like “washing away” what came before....it can be an entirely separate thing. like if you haven’t experienced it you cant imagine it. i cant give someone a real sense of what its like to grow up within & live in an abusive place for decades. and i can’t guess who i would be if i’d grown up / lived in a completely different, better situation. coz thats a whole fundamental change from the start. it’d be such a different person that it wouldn’t even make sense to call it an alternate version of “me.”

well anyways i always feel like i’m bound to kms & that bad things are impending sooner than later & when they happen i’ll get a new set of incoming bad shit to feel bearing down & etc & i dont have things i want except a cessation of living under dread & feeling like my existence is in the way & theres ppl around i gotta be on my guard for & i’m only gonna kms eventually here, theres a long lifespan & for being to off yourself at any given time, also im jealous of ppl who’ve had a nicely sized friend group where they’ve always been able to hang out w one person at least whenever they wanted to / needed to. at least i’m gay, baby. i honestly do feel like that tweet where its like i cant kill myself b/c what if im a straight guy in my next life? @ god i cant do it. like lmao for real though......in my past life maybe i was an 80s gay. syke if i have a past life it was probably a cat. maybe a cat of an 80s gay. i can only hope

[gxldencity]

Making a Custom Gabby Funko Pop - Part 1

So I think I mentioned a couple of times on here that I plan to make a custom Funko Pop of my Gabriela Ryder. Well here it is!  To make my custom Gabriela pop, I’m using default sara funko pop and the power girl funko pop for her head.

I watched a shit ton of tutorials and did a lot of research before I started this lmao.

Okay so first things first, I gotta separate the head and the body. To do that, I had to submerge the pops I was gonna use in hot water. The power girl pop was easy to separate cause I think it was a little bit loose when I got it? But the sara pop was a pain in the ass to remove. 

Srsly, I had to dunk her a couple of times back into the hot water and I had to reboil it. Even then, it took a bit of force to get her head out. I was using my nail filer to push the plastic out bit by bit cause I didn’t want to break my nails. 

Eventually, I got her out. Luckily, I didn’t break anything. I might use her head for another custom pop of my OCs. Maybe Nyla.

Anyway, time to wash the parts I’m using! I just used one of my brother’s electric toothbrush replacements and soap to clean them. He never uses them so w/e

I was gonna take off the paint today too but then my mom’s nail polish remover didn’t have acetone so there’s that. I’ll do that when I get back to my dorm cause I have acetone there. 

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[litcci]

IN-DEPTH CHARACTER SHEET

CREDIT TO SIR ENDESR AT THIS WRITING FORUM.

Reblog or repost. DO NOT remove credit.

TAGGED BY: nobody i STOL this

TAGGING: @melligine, @serapheit​ (honestly use whichever oc you’re feeling tbh!!), @kaqenui​, @infernosis​ THIS ISN’T A PARTICULAR LIST S O  FEEL FREE TO STEAL THIS REALLY!!!! i had fun doing this

FULL NAME: Selen Cypress Steele MEANING: Selen’s name is the Sami variation and I couldn’t actually find a meaning for it!!! However when used in Turkish, it means gospel or asset Cypress and Steele should be obvious NICKNAME: Sel. Right now only like, two people are allowed to use this MEANING: Should be obvious!! AGE: 23 BIRTHDAY: February 20th ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aquarius GENDER: Agender, masc presenting He doesn’t feel much alignment to any particular gender, but he’s very content with the way he presents currently

ALLERGIES: None. SEXUAL PREFERENCE: Men and masculine people, exclusively. THEME SONG(S): Honestly I couldn’t think of much BUT...

APPEARANCE HAIR COLOR: White. Just straight up white. He’ll deny it but it’s absolutely white. HAIR STYLE AND LENGTH: Choppy and asymmetrical; longer on his right hand side, which he usually keeps in a little braid. The shorter side sits just above chin length. Tends to let it get shaggy EYES COLOR: Muted brown HEIGHT: 5′8′‘ | 173cm. Not as blessed with height as some of his other family members, but it could be worse. WEIGHT: 134 lbs | 61 kg. OUTFIT/CLOTHING STYLE: Tends to be pretty extra, favouring thicker fabrics and fur. Sweaters are a constant. When not working he leans towards a more minimal style. DISTINGUISHING MARKS(SCARS, MOLES): Freckles everywhere (face, arms, legs), a few scars here and there SELF CARE(MAKE UP): Occasionally he’ll fill in his eyebrows if he’s feeling insecure; he favours nice perfumes and colognes, too (especially vanilla scents) FIRST IMPRESSION ON PEOPLE: Composed, a little unapproachable SKIN COLOR: Pale beige, prone to sunburn and reddening. BODY TYPE/BUILD: A little on the scrawny side, but there’s some definite muscle definition around his arms and core DEFAULT EXPRESSION: Neutral and focused. Resting bitch face honestly. Some days, you might be able to spot a little smirk--usually in the company of the king. POSTURE: Upright, hands on hips, hands by his side--he’s ready. He keeps his arms folded when he’s relaxed, shifting his weight onto one leg. PIERCINGS: Both ears. He rarely wears earrings these days and they’ve pretty much sealed up, though DESCRIBE THEIR VOICE: Pretty monotonous, more so out of being calm than anything. Usually fairly quiet, doesn’t speak particularly quickly or slowly. As he warms to you, it becomes more rhythmic and emotive

RELATIONSHIPS MOM: Jerusha Steele HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: It’s complicated. They’ve not been in contact since Selen left Belori. Selen completely understands why she acted the way she did towards him--he was equally heartbroken and angered by his father’s disappearance. But the way she went about it is something he can’t forgive so easily, and has left an impact he’s still healing from. He’s not rushing to see her again, but he still thinks about her. DAD: Tobejas Steele HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Again, it’s complicated. Up until the age of 10, the two got on wonderfully. The man was very up front about his heritage and what he was, with Selen embracing it as best he could. Calm, gentle, fun, and all around a fantastic father figure. After his disappearance--knowing it was planned and how his mother reacted to it--Selen’s opinion of his father is incredibly bitter. He’s not as desperate for answers as he was (he’s stopped actively looking for him). Out of spite, he’s choosing to barely acknowledge certain aspects of his heritage, but he still holds lingering respect for him he’s barely aware of. The braid in his hair is the same one his father wore, after all.

SIBLINGS: Saskia Steele HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: Like a house on fire. She’s aware of his whereabouts but hasn’t told her mother, but the two of them share an incredible amount of mutual adoration, respect and hatred of their father. CHILDREN: None. HOW WELL DO THEY GET ALONG: N/A. PAST LOVER(S): One. Very short lived. Admittedly, it was out of desperation on both their parts and they were barely compatible, but not from lack of trying. Selen was the one to be broken up with. CURRENT LOVER: A certain king. Selen’s been head over heels for him for the last three years and it doesn’t look like this is stopping any time soon. And really, he couldn’t care less about peoples’ opinions about their differences in ranks. He’s in deep. REACTION TO MEETING SOMEONE NEW: By default, he’s sceptical of their intentions, but he greatly enjoys listening to them and what they have to say. That scepticism persists for a while, but he’ll still act friendly enough. ABILITY TO WORK WITH OTHERS: He’s more of a follower than a leader and takes to orders like a fish to water.  Still, he feels he works better alone than in a group. That being said, there’s been some definite improvement in his approach in recent years. LEAST FAVORITE TYPE OF PERSON: People who are overly curious or obnoxious, honestly. He needs his privacy and to save his energy. PARENTAL TYPE(PROTECTIVE, ETC): He’s remarkably good with children!! He’d be far more protective of his own children, but he’s the sentimental type. Days out, reading bedtime stories, listening to everything the kid has to say.

PERSONALITY …WHEN YOU FIRST MEET THEM: A little stiff, but it’s obvious he’s making an effort to be friendly. Acts calm and collected, but aspects of someone who’s a little inexperienced still shine through. …AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY LIKE YOU): Talks and smiles a lot more!! He starts being a lot more playful (think awful jokes and awful puns), but also a lot more protective. He gets a lot more receptive to affection too. …AS YOU KNOW THEM BETTER(AND THEY DISLIKE YOU): Resting bitch face.  Passive aggression. To an extent--with his words at least--he’s capable of hiding his feelings very well, but it boils over to a point of outright rudeness. FAVORITE COLOR: Red, some shades of purple, green FAVORITE FOOD: He would die for banana bread FAVORITE ANIMAL: Cats FAVORITE ELEMENT: Water (ironically, he can’t swim) LEAST FAVORITE COLOR: Blue, yellow LEAST FAVORITE FOOD: He’s not a big fan of pizza LEAST FAVORITE ANIMAL: Like most, he’s not too fond of insects. HOBBIES: Fashion, photography, and... knife throwing. He’s starting to develop a budding interest in gardening, too. USUAL MOOD: Calm, focused DRINK/SMOKE/DRUGS: Occasional drinker. He’s a stress smoker, but it’s a habit he’s trying to stop. And occasionally. He’s done weed before no thanks to a certain someone’s influence. DARK VERSION OF SELF: He’s inherently very neutral, so there’s nothing especially light or dark about himself LIGHT VERSION OF SELF: Again, he’s neutral! HOW SERIOUS ARE THEY: Pretty serious, but he can definitely appreciate fun and doing things on the spur of the moment CLASS IN AN RPG: Rogue BELIEVE IN GHOSTS: Eh (IN)DEPENDENT: Independent. VULNERABILITY: People he loves getting hurt, his loyalty being challenged, his past to some extent OPINION ON SWEARING: Occasionally! Never at work. Gotta stay professional. DAREDEVIL VS CAUTIOUS: Cautious MUSIC TYPE: He’s fond of chilled out electronic music, but he’ll honestly listen to anything. MOVIE TYPE: He doesn’t have an absolute favourite--rather, he likes specific films rather than overall genres. He’s biased towards adventure, however. BOOK TYPE: Murder mysteries, hands down COMFORTABLE TEMPERATURE: Anything below 50F is nice. He’s cold. He can appreciate warmer weather in small doses, but anything beyond that is a nightmare for him SLEEPING PATTERN: Very structured, sleeps about 8-9 hours a day consistently. If he can’t get that, he’ll gladly nap. CLEANLINESS/NEATNESS: Very tidy and organised, though things turn to disarray when he’s stressed out DESIRED PET: He’d love a cat, or a tortoise HOW DO THEY PASS TIME: People watching, so much people watching BIGGEST SECRET: Unless you ask, everything about him is a secret... so in a strange way, he doesn’t have any particular secrets. He still greatly prefers being mysterious, though HERO/WHO THEY LOOK UP TO: His sister and the last king of Melcio WHAT ANIMAL WOULD THEY BE: ......Cat. Like honestly i thought about this for a few minutes but no he’s a damn cat i can’t do this FEARS: The king’s assassination, especially if it’s something he can prevent. He’s not the best about being controlled or manipulated, either. Or blood. COMFORTS: Piping hot cocoa, fairy lights, hugs--but only if he knows you well enough

HOW DO THEY REACT TO… DANGER: Tries to be as level headed as possible, thinking of every solution to get out of it SOMEONE THEY HATE WHO HAS A CRUSH ON THEM: Straight up tells them no, no hesitation whatsoever. PROPOSAL TO MARRY: Depends who it’s from. If it’s from a certain someone he’s definitely gonna start crying. Anybody else? ‘...Um.’ DEATH OF LOVED ONE: Isolation, solemn sadness... after a while. Then it turns to eventfulness if applicable. DIFFICULT GAME/MATH/ETC: Frustration, honestly. He’d want to walk away from the problem and start again if he can, but if it’s under pressure he’ll just take a deep breath and do the best job he can INJURY: Tries his hardest to ignore it and power on through until he has no choice SOMETHING IRRESISTIBLY CUTE: If it’s an animal he’d want to try and lure it in and say hello!!

HISTORY BIOGRAPHY: yaint

FIRST APPEARANCE: He’d face’d first be put to the public after his appointment of first knight, by the king of Melcio’s side on excisions.

KNOWLEDGE LANGUAGES: I’m not sure how we’re going about languages over at Frucitaion lmao but he definitely has a couple under his belt SCHOOLING LEVEL: High school graduate FAVORITE SUBJECT (S): Psychology, textiles, math INTERESTED CAREERS: He considered pursuing psychology further at one point, but his heart was set on militia EXPERTISE: Ditto CHEMISTRY: C MATH: A+ LANGUAGE: B GEOGRAPHY: B POLITICS/LAW: A COOKING: B MECHANICS: A BOTANY (FLOWERS): A MYTHOLOGY: D DRAMATICS(ACTING,SINGING): A, exclusively for acting

READING LEVEL: High school graduate HOW GOOD ARE THEY AT PLANNING AHEAD: Very good, and he adores it. 500 things that could go wrong are considered and worked around, almost to the point of obsession. You can never be too careful.

ROMANCE . DO THEY TAKE INITIATIVE: He’s perceptive, so he knows when and how to initiate when it’s needed! Otherwise he takes a backseat, since his boyfriend is the affectionate sort. HOW DO THEY ACT(SHY,ETC): Shameless and unapologetic, honestly. It takes a while for him to come out of his shell, but when he does he’s staying and he’s gonna enjoy himself, PDA and all. GENTLEMAN/LADYLIKE VS KLUTZY: Somewhere in between! He has his moments of being a klutz when he’s truly being himself, though he enjoys putting on a gentlemanly facade. Really, he can’t take himself seriously. GO SLOW VS JUMP INTO: Slow. PROTECTIVE: Absolutely. He’d put his life on the line to keep Carmi safe ACT LIKE FRIENDS OR LOVERS: Lovers, no mistake about it. WHAT KIND OF PRESENTS DO THEY BUY: Tends to pick his gifts carefully, with plenty of sentimentality behind most of them! It’s hard to resist some impulse buys, though. Plants are always a must, but things that remind him of his significant other or trips out they’ve had together are always welcome. TYPE OF KISSER: He’s prone to quick impulsive kisses, but he has a tendency to get really into it once he gets going DO THEY WANT KIDS: He’d love to adopt whenever they feel they’re ready DO THEY WANT TO MARRY: He’s not rushing, but he’d love to MAKE GOOD OR BAD DECISIONS: Ones that are beneficial to both parties. So yes, mostly good. He can make poor decisions that are too extreme, especially when it comes to keeping his loved ones safe. ARE THEY ROMANTIC: Definitely. He’s all about the corny, cliche stuff, as long as they’re both having a good time. HOW ARE THEY IN BED: Touchy, loud, pretty average? He isn’t sure. Ask his boyfriend. He’s pretty receptive and attuned to what his partner wants, though. GET JEALOUS EASY: Not at all! He knows Carmi has a lot of love to give--that’s why he adores him so much MARRY FOR MONEY: Nope FAVORITE SEX POSITION: -- WHAT WOULD HAPPEN ON THEIR DREAM DATE: Something corny, like a picnic at sunrise or a trip to the aquarium and a nice meal afterwards. OPINION ON SEX: He likes it, but he doesn’t need it and definitely has to be in a certain mood for it.